February 2, 2016

He Knows

Posted in AMT's Faves, Fun Stuff, Life's Little Moments, My Take on Autism tagged , , at 2:29 pm by autismmommytherapist

Disney Halloween 2015 124

He sits, curled up like a comma in the rocking chair with me. His right cheek is planted on my right shoulder, hands wrapped tightly around my waist.

He is almost a teen-ager, but he still fits in this sacred space on my lap every night, the place where I have comforted him countless times over the years.

I whisper to him the words I say every night.

I am so proud of you.

You are so smart, so funny, and so kind.

Somehow I got the two best boys in the universe.

I love you.

You are a good boy.

There is an imperceptible shift in his body. His hands might clasp me a little tighter.

I just wish I could know that he understands the depth of my love and respect for him.

I ask him if he comprehends mommy’s words, and I get the “yes nod.”

I’m left to wonder if my predominantly non-verbal son really gets it.

Perhaps no child really gets the extent of parental love.

I tell him I love him again, and I see his small smile deepen ever so slightly.

He knows. On his terms, and on his level, he knows.

He knows without saying it in words.

And tonight it’s all I need, to know that we will have this bond even though we will never have a conversation about it.

He knows.

And tonight, that’s enough.
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  1. Mom said,

    He knows!!!!

  2. Chad said,


  3. >>crying in library<<
    There is the piece about any parent wondering if their child can even COMPREHEND how much we love them; and there is the piece where our particular child might understand or feel things a bit differently…Sometimes I feel i cannot REACH my son. But those moments when I can, when I feel he really hears how much I love him? treasures.
    You've got one there – and in this post!
    Thanks and love,

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